Monday, May 30, 2005

hey...this is gonna be da last time im gonna write in dis blog...frm dis day forth..dis blog is non-existence..bt prob only in my memories.i promise to myself,today is the last day i'm ever gonna think of u again,as this beautiful chapter in my life is closed.Right now,im thankful that heaven has open a new chapter for me,a more beautiful,more fufilling one.I'm sorry we could not keep our 3 years contract,i really thought i could wait,but i see that u truly do nt think of me anymore,and i cannot delude myself from this truth.No matter how much i have wished and hoped,it has all ended in disappointment.I really hope for you to be happy,and for me too.I do not want to continue hurting myself,i wanna be happy,i wanna be able to let those who care for me happy too,hence neither do i think of you henceforth.u were right,i will meet better people,and dat sumone is actually right beside me all along...

my new blog would be in debsolitaryground.blogspot.com ...update ur links ~! :D

Alone @ 5/30/2005 08:38:00 PM

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Lol...after so long..im finally updating again..sighz...so much things had happened..now i live in confusion...was looking thru the past blogs...brought back many happi memories...suddenly felt like returning to those time..experience the happiness again...i cant believe hw all these juz slipped pass me..i never saw hw beautiful it was till it was gone..but dats human nature..sigh..but it is time to let go i guess..bt ive nv realli been able to..prob coz i havent learn to accept the future?i dunno...haha..rite now..everything feels like it is worthless..and i feel like i cant feel again...but i rite now..im veri thankful for all da frens i haf around me...my classmates,my choir,char(altho nw i tink we haf drifed apart),my laopo xiao ting,my brother,yy...SEIF AL DIN!!woOO hoo!!hhehehe..we rock manz!lol.i hafta say,life's good...realli good..lol..

SYF is comin..good luck to all and to us!!we will get gold if honours!must believe!!lol...

one day life would gif u a reason why
One day time may past u by
One day u might find ur fate
One day u will be wat u r.

Alone @ 3/23/2005 09:47:00 PM

Monday, December 27, 2004

i can't believe this, in a room so cold,
you made me warm, and you touched my soul
my thoughts are blank, i can't think straight,
you made this talk worth all the wait
i locked you away, behind a door,
but here you are, in front of me once more.
so what can i do, other than this,
to tell you that i long for your kiss

-Anonymous

Alone @ 12/27/2004 02:45:00 AM

Sunday, December 26, 2004

haha..this few days veri fun!!lets start with 23rd dec..coz dats as far as i can remember..lolz

23rd December

Today...hmm...went carolling...den b4 dat..went to walk aroiund orchard to buy prezzy for jeffrey...coz its his bday!!!den ft carollin we went to celebrate..yilin bought him a log cake..icecream cake summore..eat until i full sia..den aft dat me,jeffrey,li fang,wan ting and a few others went walk walk around orchard rd..lo..lotz of ppl sia..den walk till 11 plus...parents came to fetch me..den went home..bt it was realli fun..and i got closer to jeffrey they all..dey are realli nice pple...i tink dey wuld make realli good frens :D..anyway..i gave jeff dis mr bean bear..lolz...dunno he like or nt..bt veri cute seh!!lolz..den veri squezabble :P

24th December

Christmas eve...was feelin a little down..dunno why...i guess coz it was nearly christmas..den din haf da feelin of wat shuld be during dis day...sighz...anyway morn..i was helping brandon and joel with their songs for syf..coz dey havent learn finish ma..and auditions coming le...so anyway...help them till roun 3 like dat..lolz...dey both cute sia..i tink need to upgrade to bass le..:P..den went to sleep awhile..den woke up at 5...shit!!!gonna be late for carolling..so rushed here rushed dere..den finally reached there as dey were doin warm ups..den oh shit!mr kwei dere..den i sheepishly go change and join dem..lol..luckily did warm ups le..budden still havent catch my breath frm all da rushing..so had a hard time singing properly...sian..lolz...den we went back to da lounge...den wanting gave me christmas card..shes so sweet manz..gave everyonez :D..den aft dat i was still a little down..den qiu qun asked me wats wrong and stuff..budden i oso dunno la...so just kept quiet..den i tink dey all pity me..den asked me to join dem for christmas party at yilin's house..so went there wif dem..haha..dey did made me feel beta tho...her house veri near my house..funny why nv see her around b4..anyway her house veri nice!!she have the whole attic to herself..and her own personal living room and balcony summore...den we had food and stuff at her balcony..den i was like sitting on her balcony dere..so shuang..for a moment i wished i culd stay dere forever...den it was like a mini commonwealth gathering..wif seniors like 7 yrs older than me dere too..and dey were like all friendly and everything..and it was a veri heartwarmin feelin to be wif them..dat closeness between da seniors and juniors were amazing..dey nv left out a single person..and dey realli cheered me up..budden i oni stay till 12 30 am ..den qiu qun and li yan walked me home..me and qq were like holding hands walkin home.She veri cute seh..say is her first time holding junior's hand..haha..den i reached home at round nearly 1 am..den dad open red wine..lol..my sis arz...weak onez..drink abit den whole face red le..i drank quite lots..bt face colour still nv change,...hehe..so den we wished everyone merry christmas..den dey all went to sleep..bt i culdnt sleep..coz its christmas!!!dis day gotta be special!!lol..so i watch movie..den aft dat..went to sleep at round 5 am..lolz..merry chrstmas too meeeeee...zzzzzz...

25th December

Merry christmas!!!lolz..woke up damn early manz...din sleep lotz..lol...budden still like no festive air like den..sian..den uncle gave me prezzy..lolz..a cute cute soft toy..and sea monkeys!!!lolz...cute sia dey all...small and tiny...den aft dat went out wif my family..den went to eat at ramen store at nite..my sis arz...veri ma fan...keep sayin wanna go home...pls lor.z..its christmas!!!lolz..den aft dat went home..den ask shauna come up and stay over..den we were like havin movie marthon..den watch shutter..bt aft first movie she peng le..lolz..me continue till da 2nd movie..den oso peng liao..my sis expert one...continue all da way till 8am..lolz..nw she peng le..

26 th december

Finally!!today!!lolz..oki..woke up..den found shauna gone le..lolz..muz be go home le la she..so aft dat went to eat..den bath..den went for consort..lol..today i on form..sing till veri shuang..:P..bt aft dat bad mood again..so i walked home..den sian..budden shauna called..ask me go dwn play...so okay lorz..reached home le..den went dwnstair talk talk wif them..den got to noe sommore ppl..like timothy and cheryl..haha..den we siao la..go playgrd tok tok..den play truth or dare..den gt some guys dat dat time wans my hp no. ..lol..we were like tiao-ing dem...den dey like tiao-ing us..den aft dat..timothy asked dem come play wif us..walau...dey sporting sia..den play until damn funny...hahaz..gt funny funny dares..den got one we asked them to kiss each other...walauz...veriii *goosebumps*!!lolz...bt was fun la..den mama called for me to go up and eat dinner..soo den went up..den go bath.nw talking to anita and theo..sighz..i still cant believe theo is like all da way in hk...manz..gonna miss dat guy...ahhh...shit!!internet connection d/c again..irritating sia..sigh..i tink hafta go find out da stupit prob again...den aft dat gonna post dis super long entry...haha..anyway ppl..happi new yr yea??lurve ya guys!!!

Alone @ 12/26/2004 11:55:00 PM

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

lolz...very long din blog le...sian la...nuthing goin on anyway...lolz..today woke up...went out wif charissa...then go bkt panjang to walk walk...den aft dat shauna and vanessa ask me go out with them to west mall shopping...then go imm there to repair hp...budden there close le..so futile trip..hai wo walk so far...leg pain sia...haha..too bad not enough time otherwise go arcade wif shauna le...then went to meridien hotel there for carolling..today everybody nt in good condition sia..cant sing properly dunno why...must be the weather..after dat we went to our lounge (we actually have a room to ourselves!!!) then changed out...then aft that qiu qun they all started talking and advicing me bout some stuff..they funni sia..so we started talking and stuff..aft dat went home.i think they went to eat ba...i saw dis realli nice mesh cap...bt veri ex...so i dun think im buyin...i wan cap,pouch and sunglasses manz..:P (hint hint!!) Then after that vanessa came up to borrow belt..i was like ransacking all my mom's belt manz..she got damn lot..budden dunno where she put la..so at da end van juz took my black belt...

today bought this realli nice heart shped pink ring for lynn..her bday comin le..dunno when to give her tho...then my maid see le liked it alot..then she ask me buy blue colour onez for her..lolz...then jeffrey's bday comin too..dunno wat to give him sia..lolz..hmm...now headache sia..sian..i tink i goin bath first.. veri sticky..:P..oh ya..theo is stayin in hk to study..manz..i din see him off dat time..now i prob wun get to see him again...sighz...feelin guilty...anyway i tink he'll do fine there tho...manz..realli havin a terrible headache..hmwk nt done...project nt done too..headache!!it seems like i have sumthing goin on tml mornin bt i dunno wat lerz..lolz..nvm nvm..i go bath le...otherwise i'll stink up dis whole place manz..:P okayz den...smell ya guys later!

Alone @ 12/21/2004 11:26:00 PM

Monday, December 20, 2004

once there was a girl who had a very beautiful handcrafted boomerang.at first,she din like it that much..to her it was just another toy..but then she found out..the boomerang is not like any other toy..when she threw it,it will always return to her.so everyday she would play with her boomerang and everyday her feelings for it became deeper.the boomerang was her source of joy when she was sad,something to throw and vent her frustrations on when she was angry,or just to keep her company when she was bored..but no matter what she do to it,it will always fly back to her.So everyday she threw it futher and futher,and every little frustration she bottle inside her would be vent on throwing the boomerang.but still,it return,seeming to be telling her that " no,i wont leave you,no matter what you do to me."So it became her most dependable friend and company,and she loved it so much,although sometimes she would get bored of it and played instead with other toys.But to her,her boomerang was the most precious one of all.

One day,however,she threw the boomerang too far.And it din return.She ran after it,desperate to get it back,but she couldnt find it.She looked and looked...but it was no where to be found..in despair,she kneeled on the floor and cried..and cried..she regretted throwing it,but the boomerang would not fly back.for the next few days..she felt empty,having lost her precious boomerang,her source of joy and fun..she walked around trying to find a new toy to play with,but none gave her the happiness and laughter that the boomerang once gave.As the days went by,she began to adapt to the loneliness and emptiness she felt,but she had lost that once bright cheerfulness she had.She kept herself busy playing with other toys,and tried to look for another boomerang,but nothing can make her forget her precious boomerang.So everyday she waited and waited,hoping that the boomerang would fly back to her hands.She told herself,"if it ever comes back,this time i'm gonna take good care of it,i'm not gonna let it go again." but at the same time,she knew that it may never come back..and that it might have already been caught by someone else..or probably it's still lying somewhere,waiting to be found or maybe,its still in its course from the throw...but whatever happens..her feelings for the boomerang would never change,even if she had gotten a new one..and if it comes back this christmas..it will be the best present she had ever gotten or ever will have.

"If it is meant to be,it would come back.But if it was not,no matter how hard you look you'll never find it."

Have a Merry christmas everyone...

Alone @ 12/20/2004 01:20:00 AM

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Images fleeted before my eyes
Memories flashed inside my mind
Feelings erupted burning cinder flesh
Lava flowed down ashes cone

Broken pieces can be mend
Shattered pieces cannot be found
Cracked porcelain not able to hold
Scarred faces cannot be healed

Life a keeping with the dark
Sleep be lover's tender arm
Love if sun does not rise
Lone if moon does not set

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Today went to alot of lessons sia...first theory,then piano...then singing..sighz..guess wat?My school merged with play music and they have a recording studio!!!so excited manz...finally can try recording in a studio..its gonna be soo fun..and prob have new songs to sing!!!yay!!actually was thinking about switching to ocean butterflies music forest...budden..i feel bad...after sxcaven have put so much and taught me so much..sighz..bt arz..me mom say onez...so still dunno..heard that veri hard to get into music forest tho...and sch fees veri ex..hehe..budden..nvm see first la...i was walking along orchard just now...then observing wat ppl wear and stuff..wonder how they get all those funky hip hop-py clothes..i wan a hat!!so the respect ME adidas mesh cap!!so nice!!i wanna haf that!!but not available in SG le...nvmm,...wait for i to come here..lolz..nowadays always listening to hip hop,rock and heavy metal...starting to kena influence le...actually rock veri nice!!hip hop is even nicer!!woohoo!!hip hop rulez manz...i lurve my dancing class..too bad next week no more...starting on 3rd of jan..nvm..next yr go again!!haha..i today headache sia..i tink goin to off comp and enjoy aircon..wanna pack my stuff...catcha peeps later!

luv ya!

Alone @ 12/16/2004 02:19:00 AM